Not at all hair related... like all the way off topic

I didn’t quit my job…

my job quit me…

…And I said, thank you very fucking much.

After the tears are wiped away and the bruised ego starts to heal and the self doubt slowly turns into knowing your self worth, and the revelation that things could always, always be worse.  You're then able to say...Thank you for giving me back time. 
Yes. Time. 

Time seems to be the only thing we can’t actually get back, but, you sorta can. Meaning, when you are so used to a routine. Work. Home. Work — *repeat*. You’ve already used the time for the months, weeks and days to come, you already know the time you will spend, it’s as if it’s already accounted for. 
You already know that you are going to have a 60+hr work week, 
You already know you will bring work home. 
You already know that you never really “turn work off”. 
So from that perspective, and that perspective alone, when your job quits you. Yes. You get time back. You get the time back that you where too rational, too cautious, too responsible to take on your own. So when your job quits you, you say, thank you very fucking much for giving me back time.

The biggest question is what do you do with this new found time.
What do you do with this new found time, without the paycheck? Right the whole money part of it.
Well when there’s a little thing called severance it makes it a little easier to say fuck it I’m going to give myself some time to figure shit out. 
And...
If figuring shit out means waking up everyday at 11am, so be it. 
If figuring shit out means not using your brain at all and just binging on reality TV, so be it. 
If figuring shit out means reflecting on what you want even if it seems far fetched, so be it. 
If figuring it out means dancing every night of the week to free your spirit, so be it. 
If figuring it out means partying your heart out till 6 in the morning, so be it. 
If figuring it out means eating everything in sight until your belly is stuffed, so be it. 
If figuring it out means throwing caution to the wind and traveling clear across the world, several times, so be it. 

Things happen.
Things happen for a reason.
You might not ever know exactly what the reason is but, that’s ok because it kinda doesn't even matter.  All that’s needed is knowing that there’s a reason. Once you accept that there’s a reason, you move on. You move on and you live.

You live in color, you live in black and white and everything in between.

So as I figure shit out with my new found time, 

I say, thank you, thank you very fucking much.

you can touch it... it won't bite

treated myself to a massage today. yay me.
it was much needed
but can you tell me why the hell the masseuse asked me if I wanted the "head massage"
I'm like hell yeah I want it, isn't it part of the damn package, you do the shoulders, kneck, back, legs and arms and the damn head...

then it dawned on me she probably:

a. read somewhere that you are not supposed to touch a Black girls hair
or
b. she was straight up scared and equally curious lol

but I gave her the go ahead and she dug in and gave me a much needed head massage!
she didn't linga :) but, sure wish I could have jumped off the table, turn the lights and see her face. lol

400º am I roasting a chicken?

No actually I'm roasting my hair - well sorta.
So I brought a brand spanking new flat iron.
I read a bunch of blogs and printed out some recos and headed to rickies on the quest for a titanium flat iron... cause that's what "they" said was good.
I get home break open the box and read the instructions.

I washed my hair with and insane amount of products, and put all this protective crap in it, blow dried it and then... for the first time in my life EVER I flat ironed my hair!

the end result... hmm sorta a hot mess! well not completely but I had to turn it into an updo cause the ends never quiet got straight. so that was fun. but I'm still tryin to figure out how anyone in their right mind could put this thing on the 420º settings. I mean I'm not roasting a chicken!

Good thing I like Indian...

Results of the ayurvedic deep conditioning

Cons: I smell like I had breakfast, lunch, dinner and a snack at an Indian restaurant!

Pros: My hair feels unbelievably soft and it has a lot more volume/body. I didn't have to blow/lift my roots after my twist out and my hair texture feels slightly different — a little looser. word! why didn't I try this months ago when I was bellyachin about dryness from the color...

Verdict is still out: not sure what gave me these results. the pre-po or the ayurvedic conditioner OR deep conditioning with the Aveda dry remedy. Or all of the above. anywho overall I'm pleased. think I'll experiment along the way . have to figure out something to combat the smell and also curious what it will be like if I use all ayurvedic products.. until next week...

Curry goat anyone?

So last night I did a pre shampoo with coconut oil + grapeseed oil slept with it and then went to dance for 3 hours with it in. When I washed it out my hair felt REALLY soft and was super easy to detangle, it looked like my hair was also stretched a bit? gotta look that up...

Then I tried one of the deep conditioning ayurvedic recipes in my hair. It felt like a cross between a henna, a mud bath and curry goat!!

Deep Conditioning Mix
1/4 cup Aveda Damage Remedy Conditioner
1/4 cup Coconut Oil
2 tbs Hibiscus Petal Powder
2 tbs Brahmi Powder
2 tbs Bhringraj Powder
1 tbs Fenugreek Seed Powder [Methi]

I'm having a moment cause it called for Hibiscus Petal POWDER, who told me to not follow the people dem recipe! I got the hibiscus petals which kinda look like potpourri which I thought I could crush....uhh yeah... negative. There are chunks of hibiscus in my sink leaving behind a pretty hot pink color...luckily it washed out.

I said a small prayer that my hair didn't come out looking yellow/green with specs of hot pink from the hibiscus.

here's how you pronounce this it... am I the only one who had no clue :)
http://www.howjsay.com/index.php?word=ayurvedic

Always up for a challenge

So I'm trying a hair challenge with a bunch of the gals from the curly group. it's based of of moptop's blog. It's a 6 month challenge my goal is:

Things about my hair I would like to improve?

Dryness!! - I think it's largely do to the color. but I've cut off most of the old color

Shine + luster - find my natural color hair to be super dull sans relaxer

The ends - giving them love I never realized what sealing was - so hoping my new found knowledge will help (thx ladies)

Hair Regimen

I will be doing a combination of traditional and ayurvedic regimen. (mainly using ayurvedic for deep conditioning)
I will try and wash my hair only once a week as opposed to twice (after dance)
My focus will be to implement proper detangling, washing in sections + sealing with oils.
Also going to *try* and not re-color (and if I must perhaps just do the edges in the front)
drink more water + take vitamins (multi + fish oil)

Length Check

my little afro is about 3.5 inches (not stretched)
goal is to retain *healthy* new growth + double the length (so that I can have another damn hairstyle cause I'm beyond bored!)

Revert Revert!

I 've been dying to see what my hair would look like if I went to the professional to get my hair blown out... but I've been nervous.

1. didn't want to spend a ton cause I know once Saturday and Monday come it would be a hot mess because of dance class

2. what if I damage my hair more than it is already (at least in my mind) because of the color.

So I did what any budget conscious sista would do. I went to the Dominicans....

I prepped my hair beforehand with a sh*t load of products suggested by moptop ( this blogger who has fab hair, the kind that you salivate over and will never in life achieve). Washed, products in, detangled and sectioned...

I walk into the shop and say my hellos, I haven't seen them in a little over a year since I chopped my hair. I was expected some sorta reaction to the fact that I didn't want my hair washed but just blown out. but nadda. people must do this ish all the time....

Now IF only I spoke and or understood Spanish. cause lawd only knows what she was really saying about my hair. so she starts to blow. and I'm trying to contain my excitement as my hair starts to transform into a bob that's longer than what i had a year ago before I chopped.

But it was mad work and the whole shop was all smokey when she was done lol

fast ward to me getting ready for my sister's in-laws 50th anniversary. and I'm feelin myself! part of me luvs it the other part kinda misses my natuarl curls (awhhhh how cute) WELL no fear the kinks + coils would present themselves shortly.

I'm sitting on the train to NJ and I happened to see my reflection in the window. *gasp* wth. Lets just say it was sorta a big mess. The bangs where still straight but the rest was a mess. Luckily I had hairpins in my bag. In true ghetto form, I proceed to do my hair on the train! I discreetly start to roll tuck and pin.

I arrive at the event with a cutesy updo with bangs. the rest of the night was great but in the back of my mind I kept wondering were the bangs gonna revert too. lol